Right now there is just too much noise around me. I’m just wondering how to find inner peace, the silence and calmness that comes from being part of a greater wonder that’s the universe. This is the place where mystery is actually comforting, not a daunting task to unravel, and this humbles you to the point of contentment or sadness.

Instead I’m finding that this world is full of liars and all talk. Yes we talk to express our thoughts but what about the emotions, the muddy things that should be our inspiration. It’s all reminding me of that Talib Kweli & Res song – “where do we go, what do we say, what do we do? no where to turn, no where to run and there’s nothing new. where do we go for inspiration, it’s like pain is our only inspiration.”

Its usual for me to think of emotions as cancerous, something to be expelled from our system but they are not. They indicate where we are spiritually and why. Emotions give us purpose. Plato wrote that “Emotions are the enemy of Reason” but I disagree. They are the impetus to Reason, they are why Reason(s) make sense at all…

I would rather work and live from a place of passion and deep anger, developing Reason through these lenses, than from the monotonous and pretentious vision of intellectual Reason alone.

But since I’m finding out how emotionally detached I can be in my daily life -a relatively new personal revelation- I feel bored with all the Reasons that have until now been my telescope.

I pray to God to give me the ultimate purpose that comes from having a unified perspective. I asked my mother the other day if she thought I was more emotional or intellectual and she couldn’t understand the question. She asked, how can your brain work without your heart? And through that I saw the communication problem we were having…we were incommesurable in that second. It is a learned impulse to separate (or at least seem to separate) your mind from your heart but my goal now is to undo that and never look back.

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